So here it is, what day 3? And I started my meds last night. Let's just say, I am a little hazey on what exactly happened from 5pm-6am! So I cannot be held accountable.
Adipex..aka (Phentermine)...aka(SPEED)... Never take this medicine past 6:00am or you will not sleep! I did however, have on hand, Ambien...so this plus the speed helped me tremendously! I had the fastest dreams known to mankind! I literally out ran a tornado and told it to suck it as it wound down!
I worked out for 45 minutes of course this was at a rapid speed in which, I told the aerobics tape, suck it, look at me, this is easy......I can barely move this morning, wtf ever! I thought I was THE HULK last night, I might want to go check and make sure nobody got hurt during my ADIPEX high!
Alli....we will get back to this (all I am saying is it is not a good name for this terrorist, it should be I'LL MAKE YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS).
Hydrochloride water pills....So as I am out-running the tornado, I could have sworn I popped a squat and continued my effortless race!
Now back to this ALLI.. The webster definition of ally is :To place in a friendly association, as by treaty: Italy allied itself with Germany during World War II.
2. To unite or connect in a personal relationship, as in friendship or marriage.
v.intr.
To enter into an alliance: Several tribes allied to fend off the invaders.
n. pl. al·lies
1. One that is allied with another, especially by treaty: entered the war as an ally of France.
2. One in helpful association with another: legislators who are allies on most issues. See Synonyms at partner.
Now I know the spelling is different, but let me just say. Alli is not your friend, it is a terroristic attack on your inner body in which you have no control over. It does warn of greasy stools, stomach pains etc. You get the idea. What it does not let you know is the severity of these symptoms. I took my alli prior to dinner last night. I ate, what I thought was a fairly good meal, 1 breast chicken, a cup of broccoli, 1 cup of grapes and a piece of whole wheat bread. Somewhere between, my favorite re-run of Real Housewives of New Jersey and OMG I think I just lost my spleen. I realized, being SKINNY IS A BITCH! And SKINNY CAN SUCK IT TOO! What happened to my body was a violation, sweat was beading off of my forhead, I had braced both the walls in my small closet toilet that sits inside my bathroom, I held on for dear life. I know I managed to get in that "Dear God if you please let me survive this, I will change my ways, I will never ask for anything again", prayer but after that I am not sure what went on, I might have blacked out for just a minute. I thought about calling 911 but they would just send that rent a cop Sheriff and he would fuck up where I was located and by that time I would be looking at most of my major organs in the toilet. I live in somewhat of a country area and we have a typical small town sheriff that "patrols" the area, he weighs like 500lbs, and he needs to be on my plan as well... maybe I will call him! Anyway, I digress, after this clear violation on my inner and outer body, I took a shower, mind you I am amped up on Adipex so I am whirling through this shower like a fucking tsunami! I have kids coming down wanting me to act like a mom, and of course there is "Playstation 3" on his journey through the wild frontier. Holy hell, what have I gotten myself into. Woke up this morning, stepped on the scale, because I am a glutton for punishment.... 3lbs, that can't be right? Stepped on it again, 3lbs! I can't believe my spleen weighed that much! So here it is day three and I am down 3lbs and a spleen. Small price to pay to be SKINNY!
Now, what is your spleen for? I might need to call and check with the Dr. if that is a major organ, I could be in trouble!
No comments:
Post a Comment